Thy Will Be Done

I started out this week in a hard place. My husband and I had made some decisions a few months back that we really felt were in obedience to what the Lord was asking us to do. We had spent hours and weeks really, asking the Lord to show us. It was a huge decision and it had big time implications on our life. I really wanted to go a certain way but felt so strongly the Lord telling us no. So we obeyed but very shortly after that, our lives fell apart. Last week ended with some more confusion and it just left me wondering what was going on in my life all over again. This song came on the radio and gave me words for my feelings. It’s by Hillary Scott and it’s called Thy Will Be Done. These are the lyrics:

I’m so confused
I know I heard You loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of Your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know You’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know You think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all Your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that You’re God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know You see me
I know You hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness You have in store
I know You hear me
I know You see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness You have in store
So

Thy will be done

From a logical stand point, I can look around at my life right now and it just doesn’t make sense. I don’t feel very comfortable in feelings and much prefer logic so this is slightly stressful for me. I have found my self saying to the Lord, “I was trying to obey you!! I really felt like I knew what You wanted me to do and so I did it. How did all this mess come from trying to obey? You know my heart, You know what’s true. If I heard You wrong, just stop me from doing something so stupid!!” But instead, here we are, trying to navigate the hardest storm I have ever walked through.

I have been journaling through this cool expanded version of the Bible over the past few years. Each book of the Bible is bound into its own little book and each page has a few verses on one side and then a blank page on the other with little dots that allow you to write in straight lines. So I am able to read a few verses and then stop and listen to what the Lord wants to say to me through those verses. It is definitely not a “read through the Bible in a year” situation. It is much slower and much more quite listening time. Some of my pages have written out prayers, some have little phrases I wanted to say to God and some have phrases He said to me. Sometimes I highlight a promise found in His word, sometimes a verse reminded me of a promise found in a worship song. Whatever the case, I write it out or draw it out and have time to contemplate and meditate on it while coloring it in, etc.

I just started my Proverbs book and I “stumbled” upon a verse that I have had memorized for most of my life, as I’m sure a lot of Christians do, but as I read it, I knew the Lord was speaking to my heart.

Proverbs 3: 5) Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6) in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight NIV

Proverbs 3: 5)Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. 6) In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]. AMP

Proverbs 3: 5&6) Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track. Message

All of my questions had to do with my understanding of the situation. I’m trying to make this situation make sense to my feeble little brain and it is just not working. I sat down for my quiet time and these verses from Proverbs were part of my reading for the day.

This has happened over and over again in my life, where you open the Bible and the words on the page jump off and into your heart in a way they have never before. It never ceases to amaze me though, that the Lord chooses to speak into my life consistently.

Through these verses, this is what I hear Him saying: I can’t try to understand it, it’s not my job. I’m not supposed to lean or depend on what I can know or understand. I’m supposed to lean and rely confidently on the Lord alone. I don’t have to figure it out or come up with a plan that fixes it.

Through all these years of praying we have had multiple different people try and argue for a logical different step than what we feel like the Lord was asking us to do. However, I’m not supposed to rely on other’s people’s opinions either, not when they contradict a specific leading from the Lord. Sometimes the Lord uses people to speak to us, but when the Lord has impressed upon you a way to walk, you follow, no matter what other people think or say.

I love the way The Message says “in all your ways submit to Him.” It says “listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go.” Don’t take a step without Him, don’t wait when He’s telling you to move. Make every slight turn that He leads you to make. If you will follow Him in every small little step, He will keep You on track.

That’s what I needed to hear. When your heart’s desire is to follow the Lord wherever He is leading, He will be the one to keep you on track, even when it feels like you just ran your life off the rails. Trust Him. Trust Him with ALL OF YOUR HEART. Put ALL of your eggs into that basket! He cannot fail you.

Your Fellow Traveler

lacey