Loving vs Agreeing

I just spent that past two weeks with a group of pastors and ministry leaders walking through ancient city ruins in modern day Turkey. I accidentally joined a trip that an old pastor friend had also joined but other than that, I knew no one before we met in the Chicago airport. As we all journeyed through Turkey together, we shared many conversations of church structure and worship styles and practical theology. It was clear from early on, that almost everyone had a different idea on how these things played out within their church communities.

SHOCKINGLY (sorry, I have a little sarcasm that comes out of me sometimes) we still all managed to get along for 12 WHOLE DAYS without anyone fighting or having even the slightest bit of animosity toward someone they disagreed with. Maybe you think 12 days isn’t that long but we were with each other pretty much 24/7 while being tired and jet lagged and I’ve seen fights break out with far less agitation.

In truth, as our days together drew to a close, I found myself realizing that this group of people had shown more genuine love for each other than I was used to seeing, even within church groups who say they share the same opinions. It brought me to tears on multiple occasions.

There is a lot of discussion in the evangelical world right now about love. What does it really look like to love our neighbor? What does it really look like to love God? Can we disagree with someone and still love them? How is loving God and loving our neighbor related?

The biggest argument I see for why someone feels justified in not loving somebody else, is some false belief that if they love them, then they will be associated with them in some way and therefore lumped into believing in and standing for the same things that they actually disagree with. This is a completely false construct but does seem to be the way the world works. But it’s nothing new. Jesus was criticized constantly for who He hung out with. The religious “upity ups” lived with a guilt by association mindset. If you hung around sinners, then you were covered in their guilt. Jesus proves over and over again with His life that the only opinion He cares about is His Father’s, so He couldn’t care less what these people think about Him and His guilt. The truth is, if you are looking to avoid guilt, you are going to find more of it by avoiding people rather than loving everyone.

Jesus makes it pretty clear that to “love God” IS to love people. In John 13, we find Jesus and the disciples at the Lord’s supper. Jesus has just finished washing all their feet and then sends Judas off to go betray Him. Jesus is giving them some last instructions, some last encouragement to help them as He knows He is about to be arrested and won’t really be with them again in this same way. He starts with, “Love each other, the world will be watching, and they will know you belong to me because of your love.” (my paraphrase)

There are two groups of people I see Christians thinking they are justified in not loving: other Christians who have different beliefs, whether big or small, and non-Christians who live like, well, non-Christians. Let’s start with Christians.

The biggest argument I see is false doctrine and false theology. The New Testament warns multiple times of false teachers coming in and trying to lead people astray. This is a real threat and we are supposed to study the scriptures and be able to recognize when someone has traded in the truth of the gospel for a message that benefits them in one way or another. We do not have to agree with everyone. There is such thing as absolute truth.

But there are two things at play here. First, if we haven’t studied the scripture for ourselves and surrendered to the voice of the Holy Spirit, then we must acknowledge that it could be us that is in the wrong. We could have been lied to our whole lives and have been believing something that isn’t true. The Bible says to test what you hear, not just deny it from the beginning because it contradicts what you have always believed. But second, if we have humbly sought the Lord’s wisdom and guidance and have studied the scripture and have come to a different conclusion than someone else, the question then becomes, now what? Do we refuse to speak kindly to them? Do we kick them out of our friend circle or try to gather a group of people that will “cancel” them from all forms of societal interaction? Can we continue to be friends, like help them when needed friends and sacrifice for them friends, not just casually wave at them when we see them acquaintances?

The Jews and Samaritans would have fit into this category of very different theology and a hatred that had grown out of who was most Holy and who was doing it right. Yet Jesus talks about that very “enemy” being the one to sacrifice and love someone in need in His parable about the Good Samaritan.

Loving someone doesn’t have to mean that you agree with their theology. You can still talk and teach and preach correct theology while genuinely caring for someone who isn’t. Prayer is the most powerful weapon you have to fight against the powers of evil and false doctrine that the devil wants to use to lead people astray. PRAY for truth to win out and for the Lord’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven!!

I wish I didn’t have to say this next part but I do. For brothers and sisters to fight about anything less important than good theology is just unacceptable. When we fight about music style or what instruments are allowed or we should only be singing a cappella or paint choices or if we can worship on Saturday night or if we should pay musicians or if someone is allowed to dance or drink, etc etc, the list goes on and on, we do not represent Jesus. Remember John 13? They will know us by our LOVE. Remember 1 Corinthians 13? Love is patient, it is kind, it does not dishonor anyone, it is slow to anger, it is not prideful or arrogant, it keeps no record of wrongs. Do our interactions with each other within the Body of Christ, first and foremost seek the good of each other? Do we start with trust and grace when we have a conflict with someone? Do we give each other the benefit of the doubt or assume their motives and guilt? We must stop throwing each other under the bus and learn to love first, even when we disagree.

Finally, there is the matter of loving people who haven’t found Jesus yet. They live lives that shouldn’t look like yours and mine. They are lost, hurting, broken, confused and empty, even if they don’t look or act like it. If you study the life of Jesus, you will quickly discover that Jesus didn’t just tolerate these people around Him, but was drawn to them. His heart was compelled to run to the lost and hurting. He didn’t just walk by and say, “oh bless your little heart.” He got down in the mud, entered into their brokenness and sat in it with them. He wasn’t turned off by someone’s sin, but instead went looking for the sick. He wasn’t tempted or tainted by the sin around Him because He wasn’t looking for the approval of sinners. He knew that He was what they needed, even when they didn’t. He never told them to stay living in their sin, He called them to repentance, but His compassion for them is what led Him to them in the first place.

1 Corinthians 13: Faith hope and love remain but the greatest of these is love.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

John 13: They will know you by your love.

Agreeing or disagreeing with someone, even on important matters should not determine whether we love them. We are called to love first, and not judge. The Lord is the judge, we must love everyone. It doesn’t matter what the sin is. It doesn’t matter if they think they are right. We must love with a love that would lay down our very lives for someone, the same love that was displayed for us on the cross when Jesus died for us, even while we were against Him.

That’s what I’m working on this year. I’m very introverted and have a hard time being social sometimes but I’m working on pushing through those things. I want people to know that they are genuinely loved, no matter who they are or what they have done, after spending time with me. It’s just that simple.

Your Fellow Traveler

lacey